Innove-E Foundation

Innove-E Foundation

Help for Addictions

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.

You can find peace and tranquility through repeating the serenity prayer. This prayer is part of 12-step programs.   

Isolation, mental health issues, abuse, and financial problems may lead to thoughts of ways to ease stress and fear. Those with addictions may find this time challenging. One mistake can cause a relapse. If you feel that drugs, alcohol, smoking, gambling, or over-eating are taking over your life, there is help.

Narcotics Anonymous offers recovery to addicts around the world. na.org

Alcoholics Anonymous offers recovery from alcoholism. aa.org

Overeaters Anonymous is a program for people with problems related to food and overeating. oa.org

Gamblers Anonymous is a group of people who support each other to overcome gambling addiction and help others do the same. gamblersanonymous.org

Nicotine Anonymous (“NicA”) is a non-profit, 12-step fellowship of people helping each other live nicotine-free lives. nicotineanonymous.org

There are groups for family members and friends of drug addicts and alcoholics. They benefit those struggling to deal with addicted family or friends. It is very hard to see someone you love addicted.

Unfortunately, I know from firsthand experience the downfall of family members from addictions. You try to rescue them, which can take a toll on your own health. Letting them go is difficult.

These groups can help you learn how to let go of the addict if it becomes necessary. You can learn ways to deal with the addicted person.

Nar-Anon Family Groups: A 12-step program for family and friends of addicts. nar-anon.org

Al-Anon: Help and hope for families and friends of alcoholics. al-anon.org

Narateen is for Teenagers Affected by Someone Else’s Addiction. Find a narateen meeting

Alateen is a place just for teens affected by someone else’s alcoholism. Teen corner alateen

“Abuse is known to have a relationship with addiction.” Read more about domestic abuse and it’s connection to addiction. Learn more here.

“Recovering financial independence after struggling with substance abuse is a crucial step to recovery.” Learn more here.

 

 

Sexual Assault

Pinned down, not knowing if he was going to push my face into a hot radiator, he raped me. Telling me over and over that no one will ever want me again; that I am his; and that he would kill me if I tried to leave him.

That is how I lived my life until I got the courage to get away from my abuser. Then the stalking increased. We are possessions to our abusers. I never imagined that I would have to live in fear of him finding me.

As I heal, I know God is watching over me. God is protecting me. I can Thank God every day that I am free of the abuse.

There are many precautions that one must take to stay safe. To learn the steps to leave abuse, check out my book: Domestic Violence Survivor Handbook, Steps to Freedom; Second Edition. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09K1TTY17

Log Book of Incidents: Domestic Violence, Stalking, and Other Abuse is a companion book to help survivors document their abuse. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B5KV58D4

The Helping Survivors website provides a comprehensive guide about sexual assault in a rideshare. For more information: helpingsurvivors.org/sexually-assaulted-uber-lyft-driver/.

For help, if you have been assaulted, call 800-656-4673, National Sexual Assault Hotline. or go to their website: https://hotline.rainn.org/online, where you can chat online.

Teen Mentoring Program

 

BookSlide.org is an after-school program, helping seniors prepare for life after high school and college. They cover a variety of topics, from finances to college life.  

According to Anna, who mentors the group, one of their discussions was about domestic violence. It was an introduction to Domestic Violence Awareness Month in October and Teen Dating Abuse Awareness Month in February. It is a crucial conversation for their age group.

Their last activity was to research domestic violence. They were to work with a person they had never met before. One group found our page, https://www.innov-efoundation.org/category/domestic-abuse/.

That group, Addie and Danny, came across another helpful article about domestic violence: https://www.criminalattorneycolumbus.com/blog/2020/01/a-guide-to-domestic-violence-and-getting-help/.

According to Anna, their entire group found the information on our page helpful to their mental health discussion. 

We want to thank the teens who found our website helpful in their research and best wishes for their life’s journey.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (#TDVAM).

“You have rights in your relationship.”*

You can set up boundaries for yourself and others.

No one has to live with violence in his or her relationship.

There are many ways teens are abused. Some are subtle.

The wheel here shows types of abuse, whether physical, emotional or sexual.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you need help, you can text “LOVEIS” to 22522 to speak to an advocate, or visit loveisrespect.org.

They are available 24/7.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Know your Relationship Rights

#TDVAM #TeenDVMonth #KnowYourWorth #LoveIsRespect 

International Domestic Violence Hotlines


Domestic violence numbers are on the rise with #ShelterInPlace orders during the pandemic of Covid-19.  Also known as #StayAtHome orders, these put victims of domestic violence, intimate partner violence, child abuse and sexual violence at a higher risk. The home may be the most dangerous place for many people.

“Do not give up. Help is available. Make a safety plan to escape. Make a phone call.”~CL Valens, Domestic Violence Survivor 

International Domestic Violence Lines:

US: 800-799-7233

Americans overseas: 833-SAFE-833 or 1-866-879-6636

UK: 0808-2000-247

Canada: 866-863-0511

Mexico: 01800-422-5256           

Australia: 180 -737-732          

New Zealand: 0800-733-843 

India: 8793088814  

China:  010-68333388                    

South Africa: (+27 11) 715-2000

Brazil: 1: +55-51-211-2888 

Argentina:  0800-666-8537         

Puerto Rico:   787-765-2285        

Dominican Republic:  809-200-1202

Click here for other international hotlines 

How would I know if I have traumatic brain injury from abuse?

March is Brain Injury Awareness Month. Traumatic brain injury (TBI) often goes unrecognized for survivors of intimate partner violence (IPV). There are many ways people are physically abused. There are usually no visible signs of TBI.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

  1. Have you ever been choked?
  2. Have you been placed in a sleeper hold?
  3. Have you been slammed against something?
  4. Have you had furniture or other objects thrown at you, hitting your head?
  5. Have you had your hair pulled, so hard that you fell to the ground?
  6. Have you been punched to the floor and then pulled across the floor by your legs or hair?
  7. Have you been hit with something hard, hit with a fist or slapped?
  8. Have you been karate chopped?
  9. Have you ever been body slammed?
  10. Have you ever been kicked?
  11. Have you been picked up and thrown?
  12. Have you been shaken?
  13. Has this abuse happened more than once?
  14. Did you lose consciousness?
  15. Have you been checked for brain injury?

There is a higher risk for permanent damage when these types of physical abuse happens more than once. Many times traumatic brain injury (TBI) from domestic violence goes unreported, resulting in brain injury symptoms that can last a lifetime.

I am a TBI domestic violence survivor. I have not had agencies discuss traumatic brain injury with me. I mentioned it to them and they said, “Oh, you have PTSD from all the years of intimate partner violence.”

Here are some of the symptoms that I had:

  1. Loss of consciousness
  2. Balance issues/dizziness
  3. Headaches
  4. Memory issues
  5. Mood issues
  6. Problems with reading, writing and numbers
  7. Slurred speech
  8. Fatigue
  9. Sleep issues
  10. Nausea, vomiting

I knew I needed help and that all my symptoms were not just PTSD. As an outpatient of a brain injury rehabilitation facility, I completed cognitive, behavioral & emotional programs as well as speech and vision therapy.  

Here is a link to learn more TBI symptoms: https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/tbi/conditioninfo/symptoms

This blog is to alert domestic violence survivors to seek medical help for possible traumatic brain injury and for agencies to implement programs to screen for TBI, if you have not done so already. 

*”Domestic violence (DV) is a common cause of brain injury in women, who constitute the vast majority of victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner.”

Domestic violence service providers:

Screen everyone who seeks DV services for TBI. A brief screening tool that was designed to be used by professionals who are not TBI experts is the HELPS.2

HELPS is an acronym for the most important questions to ask:

H = Were you hit in the head?

E = Did you seek emergency room treatment?

L = Did you lose consciousness? (Not everyone who suffers a TBI loses consciousness.)

P = Are you having problems with concentration and memory?

S = Did you experience sickness or other physical problems following the injury?

If you suspect a victim has a brain injury, or they answer “yes” to any of these questions, help them get an evaluation by a medical or neuropsychological professional – especially if they have suffered repeated brain injuries, which may decrease their ability to recover and increase their risk of death. If the victim wishes, reach out to the TBI service provider with information about DV, what support they need, and what services are available to them. Look for ways to work together.”* *https://www.opdv.ny.gov/professionals/tbi/dvandtbi_infoguide.html

Stalking

 

 

Stalking is defined as: harass or persecute (someone) with unwanted and obsessive attention; move silently or threateningly through (a place)

Some signs of stalking are:

  1. Follows you as you travel
  2. Sends you unwanted text messages, cards, and emails.
  3. Sends you unwanted gifts, like flowers.
  4. Uses social media/GPS to track you.
  5. Constantly calls you and hangs up; or leaves voicemails.
  6. Appears in places, they should not be; waiting outside of your employment, church, house.

Stalkers control their victims, try to trap them and become threatening in many ways.

Your school life, work, social life, and daily functions are affected.

There is always a fear of what might happen should the stalker find you.

The feeling of being hunted can cripple you.

Stalking is illegal in every state.

Get the police involved and make sure to find out their jurisdiction. You may have to involve multiple locations.

Victim advocates are very helpful. They can provide assistance with safety issues.

Always know it is not your fault. You did not cause this person to become a stalker.

You may have to relocate, as I did. A restraining order did not stop my abuser/stalker.

My stalker appeared where he was not supposed to be. I was a confident, strong woman who became fearful of shopping, going to church, in fear of answering the door and spent many sleepless nights wondering if my stalker was outside. I alerted people ahead of time of where I was going so they could be on the lookout for my stalker.

I always was looking around everywhere I went, even when driving until I went into hiding.

I am still very cautious when answering the door after relocating. I have heard of stalkers finding their victims years later, so I stay alert to my surroundings.

You can feel panic at any time, even years later. Telling my story encourages and strengthens me, knowing that I can help others. I know that God is protecting me wherever I go. Praying daily has helped me gain back my confidence.

Here are some ways to keep safe:

  1. Stop all communication with the stalker.
  2. Remove yourself from social media.
  3. Alert your friends, employer, and family members that you are being stalked.
  4. Change places you shop, routes you drive and times of your activities.
  5. Get some training in self-defense.
  6. Keep track of all interactions with your stalker, even if you do not think they mean anything. In the future, you may realize that minor incident was leading up to something major. Stalkingawareness.org has resources, such as a “Stalking Incident and Behavior Log”.
  7. Go to the local authorities.
  8. Get a protective/restraining order. The difference between protective and restraining orders is explained here: https://victimconnect.org/resources/protection-orders
  9. Become part of the address confidentiality program: http://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims/address-confidentiality-programs
  10. Take back your power.

Written by C.L. Valens; Advocate, Author and Speaker. “I am in hiding for Domestic Violence and Stalking. Relocation and a permanent restraining order have not stopped my abuser/stalker. The arrest cases were dropped for lack of evidence. After the last arrest and release, I asked the district attorney, ‘What will it take for you to stop him, for him to kill me?’ I got no response and stay alert to my surroundings every day.”

Steven Spielberg: ‘It’s all about making kids feel like they can do anything’

“From ET to Jaws, Steven Spielberg has brought us cinema’s most enduring stories. He reveals why he’s driven by fear, how he beat his bullies….” by Tom Shone

“I’ve always said to my kids, the hardest thing to listen to – your instincts, your human personal intuition – always whispers; it never shouts. Very hard to hear.”~Steven Spielberg

Read more here: https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/jul/16/steven-spielberg-kids-can-do-anything-bfg

Donation Perks-1st Annual Golden Tangerine Innov-E Film Awards

Help us reach our goal to help provide positive creativity in our youth. Please donate to The Golden Tangerine Innov-E Film Awards: http://bit.ly/InnovefYouCaring
Special Perks for Donating
Donation of $20 USD:
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Donation of $50 USD:
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  • Exclusive link to the 1st place movie
Donation of $100 USD + shipping for the T-shirt:
  • Thank You on social media
  • Exclusive link to the 1st place movie
  • Golden Tangerine Innov-E Film Award T-shirt

Holidays and Domestic Violence

Holidays and Domestic Violence

Holidays are a time for celebration with friends and relatives. For domestic violence victims, it can be exhausting and dangerous.

Your abuser may appear as a perfect person in people’s eyes. Pay attention to what they are doing. Are they drinking too much? Are they arguing with people?

When I realized my abuser was getting drunk, I asked him to leave the celebration. Sometimes he would leave before he was out of control. Other times, he would ignore me.

He would always remind me how I embarrassed him. No one knew about the abuse. I dreaded all invitations because of the years of abusive behavior.

When we spent birthdays and holidays at home, I feared what the abuser would do to ruin another celebration.

Now that I am away from my abuser, I can enjoy holidays, even if I am alone.

If you are living with your abuser, I pray for your protection. May you find peace and healing this holiday season, if you have escaped the abuse.

updated 11/26/22

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Mission

The Innov-E Foundation is dedicated to helping youth of the developing world and youth with special needs to expand their creative and innovative potential. Innov-E Foundation envisions a world where everyone is working together to raise awareness and reduce domestic violence.

Vision

The Innov-E Foundation is recognized as a leading international charitable educational access facilitator that has contributed to measurable changes in the innovative capacity of youth around the world, through access to educational knowledge from developed nations via the use of the new technologies of information and communication in the areas of science, media, film, arts and earth preservation.

Scope

Strategic alliances with like-minded individuals and institutions around the world.