Domestic violence numbers are on the rise with #ShelterInPlace orders during the pandemic of Covid-19. Also known as #StayAtHome orders, these put victims of domestic violence, intimate partner violence, child abuse and sexual violence at a higher risk. The home may be the most dangerous place for many people.
“Do not give up. Help is available. Make a safety plan to escape. Make a phone call.”~CL Valens, Domestic Violence Survivor
International Domestic Violence Lines:
Americans overseas: 833-SAFE-833 or 1-866-879-6636
Australia: 180 -737-732
New Zealand: 0800-733-843
South Africa: (+27 11) 715-2000
Brazil: 1: +55-51-211-2888
Puerto Rico: 787-765-2285
Dominican Republic: 809-200-1202
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.
This prayer is part of 12 step programs. You can find peace and tranquility through repeating the serenity prayer.
With people all over the world forced to stay at home because of Covid-19 there may be thoughts of ways to ease the stress, boredom, abuse, feelings of isolation, or fear. If you have had an addiction, this can be a very challenging time. One slip up can put you back into the addiction. If you feel that drugs, alcohol, or over-eating are taking over your life there is help.
Narcotics Anonymous offers recovery to addicts around the world.
Alcoholics Anonymous offers recovery from alcoholism.
Overeaters Anonymous is a program for people with problems related to food and overeating.
There are groups for family members and friends of drug addicts and alcoholics. These are beneficial for people who do not know how to deal with addicted family or friends. It is very hard to see someone you love addicted.
Unfortunately, I know from firsthand experience the downfall of family members from addictions. You try to rescue them, which can take a toll on your own health. It is very hard to let them go. These groups can help you learn how to let the addict go, if or when that becomes necessary.
Nar-Anon Family Groups; A 12-Step Program for Family & Friends of Addicts
Help and hope for families and friends of alcoholics
Please contact me if you would like to talk: [email protected]
Holidays are a time of celebration with family and friends. For domestic violence victims it can be emotionally, spiritually and physically exhausting.
When a victim is living in domestic violence, it can be a dangerous time of the year. They never know when there will be another altercation. Visiting family and friends during the holidays can be very stressful. Your abuser may put on a front that they are a perfect person in people’s eyes, but watch out if they are drinking or starting to argue with people.
I have asked to leave parties, dinners, picnics, and celebrations. When I could see my abuser was getting out of control, I would ask to leave, knowing I would suffer verbal abuse later. I heard that I embarrassed him, repeatedly for days, sometimes months. People did not know what I was going through. No one knew what I was hiding.
Years and years of abusive behavior over the holidays left me dreading invitations to any festivities. Now that I am away from my abuser, I can enjoy every holiday, even if I am alone.
If you are a victim, still living with your abuser, I pray for your protection. If you are a domestic violence survivor, I pray that you find peace and healing this holiday season.
#domesticviolence #DVSurvivor #abuse #domesticabuse #DVawareness #DVHelper
C.L. Valens is a domestic violence survivor. After many years, she finally summoned the confidence and courage to leave her abuser. Writing is a way that has helped her heal.
“Domestic Violence Survivor Handbook, Steps to Freedom”, is an informative, practical guide to leave domestic violence. This educational tool can help reduce the anxiety of not knowing what to do next. You may purchase it on Amazon Kindle as an eBook or hard copy version. It is also available on Kobo and Nook as an eBook.
“During the many years, I was with my abuser; I suffered verbal, financial, emotional, psychological, physical, property damage, technological and sexual abuse. Stalking me was his way of letting me know he could still get to me, to hurt me. This book can help educate everyone about the steps needed to get away from domestic violence. It includes some of the services available to survivors. It gives insight into some of the things that I went through, so people will know that a survivor wrote it.”~C.L. Valens
She has made a commitment to help survivors with their journey to freedom, health and happiness.
C.L. is available to speak at your churches, networking events, conferences, medical offices and businesses. Hear her story of empowerment and healing.
Domestic violence touches families all over the world. It does not matter the religion, race, social-economic status, or gender.
You may contact her at [email protected]
A percentage of all her book sales and speaking engagements will be donated to Innov-E Foundation, a 501c3 nonprofit.
“Domestic and sexual violence is a leading cause of homelessness for women and children, and the need for safe and affordable housing is one of the most pressing concerns for survivors of violence and abuse.”*
“This video provides an understanding of the connections between domestic and sexual violence and safe, affordable housing, and provides tools for advocates working at this intersection”**:
Nobody should have to choose between living in abuse and being homeless. We all can do our part to bring awareness to helping those of us who flee abuse. Many survivors have young children. Many have not worked outside of the home. Many stay because being homeless is not an option for them.
Click here for PDF download of infographic*
Feeling his hands around my neck saying, “I am going to kill you b….”, living in fear, knowing I might not see the next day! That is how I felt many years. When I finally got away, I did not realize how scared I was of my abuser. Just the thought of him made me tremble to my inner core. Seeing him, made my legs so weak I could not walk.
Standing against a wall after getting a temporary restraining order, trying not to pass out, I realized that this was the end of my abuse and the beginning of a new life. I was making a statement that I would no longer tolerate abuse of any kind. I was scared, not knowing the next move, I realized that no matter what happened I had to get away and never look back. Appearing in court with him was more than my body and mind could handle. After the first arrest for stalking, with the restraining order in place, the court accepted my plea not to appear with my abuser in court again. For that, I am grateful.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and that was a reminder for me to realize how much I have healed both mentally and physically. PTSD is something I will live with the rest of my life, but fortunately, I have learned ways to cope with it. I found many ways to heal alternatively and I want to help others learn those ways and become survivors, leaving the victim mentally behind.
One way that was healing for me was to write, “Domestic Violence Survivor Handbook, Steps to Freedom“. If you are a victim of abuse and trying to find your way to freedom, please check out my book.