God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.
You can find peace and tranquility through repeating the serenity prayer. This prayer is part of 12-step programs.
Isolation, mental health issues, abuse, and financial problems may lead to thoughts of ways to ease stress and fear. Those with addictions may find this time challenging. One mistake can cause a relapse. If you feel that drugs, alcohol, smoking, gambling, or over-eating are taking over your life, there is help.
Narcotics Anonymous offers recovery to addicts around the world. na.org
Alcoholics Anonymous offers recovery from alcoholism. aa.org
Overeaters Anonymous is a program for people with problems related to food and overeating. oa.org
Gamblers Anonymous is a group of people who support each other to overcome gambling addiction and help others do the same. gamblersanonymous.org
Nicotine Anonymous (“NicA”) is a non-profit, 12-step fellowship of people helping each other live nicotine-free lives. nicotineanonymous.org
There are groups for family members and friends of drug addicts and alcoholics. They benefit those struggling to deal with addicted family or friends. It is very hard to see someone you love addicted.
Unfortunately, I know from firsthand experience the downfall of family members from addictions. You try to rescue them, which can take a toll on your own health. Letting them go is difficult.
These groups can help you learn how to let go of the addict if it becomes necessary. You can learn ways to deal with the addicted person.
Nar-Anon Family Groups: A 12-step program for family and friends of addicts. nar-anon.org
Al-Anon: Help and hope for families and friends of alcoholics. al-anon.org
Narateen is for Teenagers Affected by Someone Else’s Addiction. Find a narateen meeting
Alateen is a place just for teens affected by someone else’s alcoholism. Teen corner alateen
“Abuse is known to have a relationship with addiction.” Read more about domestic abuse and it’s connection to addiction. Learn more here.
“Recovering financial independence after struggling with substance abuse is a crucial step to recovery.” Learn more here.
BookSlide.org is an after-school program, helping seniors prepare for life after high school and college. They cover a variety of topics, from finances to college life.
According to Anna, who mentors the group, one of their discussions was about domestic violence. It was an introduction to Domestic Violence Awareness Month in October and Teen Dating Abuse Awareness Month in February. It is a crucial conversation for their age group.
Their last activity was to research domestic violence. They were to work with a person they had never met before. One group found our page, https://www.innov-efoundation.org/category/domestic-abuse/.
That group, Addie and Danny, came across another helpful article about domestic violence: https://www.criminalattorneycolumbus.com/blog/2020/01/a-guide-to-domestic-violence-and-getting-help/.
According to Anna, their entire group found the information on our page helpful to their mental health discussion.
We want to thank the teens who found our website helpful in their research and best wishes for their life’s journey.
Domestic violence numbers are on the rise with #ShelterInPlace orders during the pandemic of Covid-19. Also known as #StayAtHome orders, these put victims of domestic violence, intimate partner violence, child abuse and sexual violence at a higher risk. The home may be the most dangerous place for many people.
“Do not give up. Help is available. Make a safety plan to escape. Make a phone call.”~CL Valens, Domestic Violence Survivor
International Domestic Violence Lines:
Americans overseas: 833-SAFE-833 or 1-866-879-6636
Australia: 180 -737-732
New Zealand: 0800-733-843
South Africa: (+27 11) 715-2000
Brazil: 1: +55-51-211-2888
Puerto Rico: 787-765-2285
Dominican Republic: 809-200-1202
Holidays and Domestic Violence
Holidays are a time for celebration with friends and relatives. For domestic violence victims, it can be exhausting and dangerous.
Your abuser may appear as a perfect person in people’s eyes. Pay attention to what they are doing. Are they drinking too much? Are they arguing with people?
When I realized my abuser was getting drunk, I asked him to leave the celebration. Sometimes he would leave before he was out of control. Other times, he would ignore me.
He would always remind me how I embarrassed him. No one knew about the abuse. I dreaded all invitations because of the years of abusive behavior.
When we spent birthdays and holidays at home, I feared what the abuser would do to ruin another celebration.
Now that I am away from my abuser, I can enjoy holidays, even if I am alone.
If you are living with your abuser, I pray for your protection. May you find peace and healing this holiday season, if you have escaped the abuse.
C.L. Valens is a domestic violence survivor. After many years, she finally summoned the confidence and courage to leave her abuser. Writing is a way that has helped her heal.
“Domestic Violence Survivor Handbook, Steps to Freedom”, is an informative, practical guide to leave domestic violence. This educational tool can help reduce the anxiety of not knowing what to do next. You may purchase it on Amazon Kindle as an eBook or hard copy version. It is also available on Kobo and Nook as an eBook.
“During the many years, I was with my abuser; I suffered verbal, financial, emotional, psychological, physical, property damage, technological and sexual abuse. Stalking me was his way of letting me know he could still get to me, to hurt me. This book can help educate everyone about the steps needed to get away from domestic violence. It includes some of the services available to survivors. It gives insight into some of the things that I went through, so people will know that a survivor wrote it.”~C.L. Valens
She has made a commitment to help survivors with their journey to freedom, health and happiness.
C.L. is available to speak at your churches, networking events, conferences, medical offices and businesses. Hear her story of empowerment and healing.
Domestic violence touches families all over the world. It does not matter the religion, race, social-economic status, or gender.
You may contact her at [email protected].
A percentage of all her book sales and speaking engagements will be donated to Innov-E Foundation, a 501c3 nonprofit.
“Domestic and sexual violence is a leading cause of homelessness for women and children, and the need for safe and affordable housing is one of the most pressing concerns for survivors of violence and abuse.”*
“This video provides an understanding of the connections between domestic and sexual violence and safe, affordable housing, and provides tools for advocates working at this intersection”**:
Nobody should have to choose between living in abuse and being homeless. We all can do our part to bring awareness to helping those of us who flee abuse. Many survivors have young children. Many have not worked outside of the home. Many stay because being homeless is not an option for them.
Click here for PDF download of infographic*
Feeling his hands around my neck saying, “I am going to kill you b….”, living in fear, knowing I might not see the next day! That is how I felt many years. When I finally got away, I did not realize how scared I was of my abuser. Just the thought of him made me tremble to my inner core. Seeing him, made my legs so weak I could not walk.
Standing against a wall after getting a temporary restraining order, trying not to pass out, I realized that this was the end of my abuse and the beginning of a new life. I was making a statement that I would no longer tolerate abuse of any kind. I was scared, not knowing the next move, I realized that no matter what happened I had to get away and never look back. Appearing in court with him was more than my body and mind could handle. After the first arrest for stalking, with the restraining order in place, the court accepted my plea not to appear with my abuser in court again. For that, I am grateful.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and that was a reminder for me to realize how much I have healed both mentally and physically. PTSD is something I will live with the rest of my life, but fortunately, I have learned ways to cope with it. I found many ways to heal alternatively and I want to help others learn those ways and become survivors, leaving the victim mentally behind.
One way that was healing for me was to write, “Domestic Violence Survivor Handbook, Steps to Freedom“. If you are a victim of abuse and trying to find your way to freedom, please check out my book.