Pinned down, not knowing if he was going to push my face into a hot radiator, he raped me. Telling me over and over that no one will ever want me again; that I am his; and that he would kill me if I tried to leave him.
That is how I lived my life until I got the courage to get away from my abuser. Then the stalking increased. We are possessions to our abusers. I never imagined that I would have to live in fear of him finding me.
As I heal, I know God is watching over me. God is protecting me. I can Thank God every day that I am free of the abuse.
There are many precautions that one must take to stay safe. To learn the steps to leave abuse, check out my book: Domestic Violence Survivor Handbook, Steps to Freedom; Second Edition. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09K1TTY17
Log Book of Incidents: Domestic Violence, Stalking, and Other Abuse is a companion book to help survivors document their abuse. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B5KV58D4
The Helping Survivors website provides a comprehensive guide about sexual assault in a rideshare. For more information: helpingsurvivors.org/sexually-assaulted-uber-lyft-driver/.
For help, if you have been assaulted, call 800-656-4673, National Sexual Assault Hotline. or go to their website: https://hotline.rainn.org/online, where you can chat online.
International Domestic Violence Hotlines
Domestic violence numbers are on the rise with #ShelterInPlace orders during the pandemic of Covid-19. Also known as #StayAtHome orders, these put victims of domestic violence, intimate partner violence, child abuse and sexual violence at a higher risk. The home may be the most dangerous place for many people.
“Do not give up. Help is available. Make a safety plan to escape. Make a phone call.”~CL Valens, Domestic Violence Survivor
International Domestic Violence Lines:
Americans overseas: 833-SAFE-833 or 1-866-879-6636
Australia: 180 -737-732
New Zealand: 0800-733-843
South Africa: (+27 11) 715-2000
Brazil: 1: +55-51-211-2888
Puerto Rico: 787-765-2285
Dominican Republic: 809-200-1202
Domestic Violence and Homelessness
“Domestic and sexual violence is a leading cause of homelessness for women and children, and the need for safe and affordable housing is one of the most pressing concerns for survivors of violence and abuse.”*
“This video provides an understanding of the connections between domestic and sexual violence and safe, affordable housing, and provides tools for advocates working at this intersection”**:
The Intersection of Homelessness and Domestic Violence
Nobody should have to choose between living in abuse and being homeless. We all can do our part to bring awareness to helping those of us who flee abuse. Many survivors have young children. Many have not worked outside of the home. Many stay because being homeless is not an option for them.
Click here for PDF download of infographic*
The role of stigma in domestic violence
“We can all work together to raise awareness and reduce domestic violence.”
C.L. Valens, Innov-E Foundation’s Executive Director, was featured recently in internationally known Healing Stigma’s blog: The role of stigma in domestic violence: How one survivor left an abusive marriage & is now helping others.
Trigger warning: “I was slowly dying inside, crying every day, and my health was failing.”
“….the man behind the smile was a brutally different person.”
As a survivor of domestic violence, CL’s mission in life is to help other survivors heal from abuse and take their life back. Her book, “Domestic Violence Survivor Handbook, Steps to Freedom” is the just the beginning of CL’s many ways she is helping victims become survivors.
#spousalabuse #domesticviolence #stopthestigma #domesticabuse
Mental Health and Domestic Violence
Feeling his hands around my neck saying, “I am going to kill you b….”, living in fear, knowing I might not see the next day! That is how I felt many years. When I finally got away, I did not realize how scared I was of my abuser. Just the thought of him made me tremble to my inner core. Seeing him, made my legs so weak I could not walk.
Standing against a wall after getting a temporary restraining order, trying not to pass out, I realized that this was the end of my abuse and the beginning of a new life. I was making a statement that I would no longer tolerate abuse of any kind. I was scared, not knowing the next move, I realized that no matter what happened I had to get away and never look back. Appearing in court with him was more than my body and mind could handle. After the first arrest for stalking, with the restraining order in place, the court accepted my plea not to appear with my abuser in court again. For that, I am grateful.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and that was a reminder for me to realize how much I have healed both mentally and physically. PTSD is something I will live with the rest of my life, but fortunately, I have learned ways to cope with it. I found many ways to heal alternatively and I want to help others learn those ways and become survivors, leaving the victim mentally behind.
One way that was healing for me was to write, “Domestic Violence Survivor Handbook, Steps to Freedom“. If you are a victim of abuse and trying to find your way to freedom, please check out my book.